My dad found me drunk in front of the toilet and reported that I was “speaking Chinese”. I am left with two questions.

1) am I secretly a drunk linguist who can learn and speak languages at the speed of light?

2) was that a racial joke or just a phrase? Or both?

posted 3 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014
xpersonal xthe life and times of shmoe xhangover xwhat happened last night

fistfightsandstilettos:

beckpoppins:

fluffyfrills:

mitzi—may:

shavingryansprivates:

i’M SCREAMING BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE THIS IS

such drama. as if they’d been starving for days. :D

such cry babies oh my god

few things in this world make me as happy as this video

reblogged 3 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014 with 141,533 notes via/source
xomfg xkitties so many kitties xcats xits so cute im gonna die xgo queue yourself

Wow I guess last night is the first night I officially blacked out. Do not remember leaving, do not remember getting into bed or anything immediately before it. Damn.

And suddenly it’s 2 PM.

posted 4 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014
xpersonal xthe life and times of shmoe xI'm feelin it xwhere the Tylenol at?
me: hello darkness my old friend
darkness: do i know u
reblogged 4 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014 with 20,864 notes via/source
xgo queue yourself

loltias:

Seeing people the same age as you doing awesome things with their lifeimage

reblogged 5 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014 with 216,498 notes via/source
xa portrait xgo queue yourself

“It’s just a morality tale, it’s obvious which gift is best, which one you’d
choose -”
The three of them spoke at the same time; Hermione said, “the cloak,” Ron said, “the wand,” and Harry said, “the stone.”

reblogged 7 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014 with 11,308 notes via/source
xhp xgo queue yourself

allisonagernt:

You’re not going alone.

reblogged 8 hours ago @ 23 Jul 2014 with 2,553 notes via/source
xteen wolf xallison argent xgo queue yourself

redvipers:

Remember us better than we are.

reblogged 22 hours ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 398 notes via/source
xpenny dreadful xgo queue yourself
reblogged 23 hours ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 28,303 notes via/source
xorange is the new black xjohn bennett xgo queue yourself
Ocean eyes today!

Ocean eyes today!

posted 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 3 notes
reblogged 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 2,175 notes via/source
xteen wolf xerica reyes xgo queue yourself

I am the most uncoordinated and clumsy girl ever!

reblogged 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 4,050 notes via/source
xgage golightly xtw cast xgo queue yourself

litewoods:

TMI/TID MEME: [2/3] families — Lightwood

The Lightwoods are a very old and very powerful family of Shadowhunters. They are members of the Clave, and the living family members currently all reside in the New York Institute.

reblogged 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 1,032 notes via/source
xtmi xtid xgo queue yourself

dragonsfang:

queensalsaofquesodelle:

I CAN’T GET OVER HIS FACE WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HICCUP IS OKAY AND THAT HE FREAKED OUT OVER NOTHING

this fuckin dick

I swear to fukkin dragon-god Hiccup…

reblogged 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 67,359 notes via/source
xhttyd2 xspoilers xgo queue yourself
reblogged 1 day ago @ 22 Jul 2014 with 18,295 notes via/source
xdammit xspn xgo queue yourself